Day Nine (Not Really)

So after much soul searching and debate yesterday I decided to break my fast and stop the cleanse. Too many negative emotions were being dragged up for me to deal with and I had been in a very very bad funk since Friday night. Nothing I tried helped to pull me up out of the funk. I also found out yesterday that the mortgage company where I am temping as a receptionist is moving me to on-call status as of Monday of next week. Basically they are letting me go because business is slower than they thought it would be. But if it gets busy they will call me. They have free lunches on Thursday. So perhaps the smallest reason I stopped this cleanse is because I want to take advantage of a last free lunch. Being let go was definitely the straw that broke the camels back for me concerning the cleanse though.

I don't feel bad about stopping short of the ten day mark, because I made it farther than I did last time and that in and of itself is an accomplishment. I also realized that I have a lot of emotional baggage that I need to work on. I have a lot of demons in my closet that I need to face and get rid of or accept and move on. Being let go will give me the time I need to accomplish that, as well as work on my goals. I will also have a good amount of time for school. I will be able to do my Yoga teacher training sooner rather than later so that I can start teaching sooner. I will also be able to do work study at The Arlington Center so I can take some classes there. I am not upset at being let go, but I was just getting used to the idea of getting paid again. I will definitely be doing cleanses/fasts more often. Most likely juice fasts with bentonite clay. I am going to make sure that I use my free time to best of my abilities. I want to be a good house-frau for S as well as being good to myself and following my dreams. I am very fortunate to have been given this opportunity to do what I actually want to do. I am not going to waste it!

Yesterday I drank the lemonade until I got home and then proceeded to have 4 pieces of celery with some of S's homemade peanut sauce and a piece of my homemade bread. It took me about an hour to eat them and they were so good. After that had started to digest I went to make soup. I surveyed our ingredients and decided that I would make Italian White Bean and Spinach soup mostly because we had spinach and a bunch of fresh basil. Here is a basic recipe. I don't really measure when I cook, so hopefully you can follow along.

Italian White Bean and Spinach Soup

3 Small onions chopped
3 Carrots sliced into disks
3-4 Cloves of garlic minced
4 Stalks of celery sliced
3 Medium - small potatoes diced
8 Cups of broth or water - your choice
1 Can of small white beans - again, your choice, make sure they are rinsed well
1/2 bunch spinach - trimmed
As much fresh basil as you want - minced
2 Scallions - chopped
A bit of dried oregano
Salt and pepper to taste
A bit of Chipoltle or other spicy pepper ( I like Chipoltle because it brings a smokiness to the soup without adding bacon or other pork products)

Saute the onions, carrots, and celery over med-high heat until they begin to sweat and soften. Add the garlic, oregano, and chipoltle and cook until fragrant. Add broth, beans and potatoes and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 20 -30 minutes. Add spinach, basil, and scallions and simmer until wilted. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve with Parmesan cheese to top, or if you are being healthy, you can use nutritional yeast which is what I do. I love it's cheesy flavour and it's vitamin B benefits. This soup is great with a nice sour dough bread for dipping in the tasty broth.

I had 2 very small bowls probably just enough to equal one whole bowl. It was such amazing soup. I also had about 4 Vinta crackers which are just about my favourite crackers on the whole planet besides Akmak. That is until I start making my own, which I plan to do starting this weekend. My goal is to make everything I can within reason. Crackers, pita bread, regular bread, granola, broth, chips . . . you name it, I want to figure out how to make it myself. It will be much healthier and cheaper. S and I want to get away from all processed food and try to eat as healthy as possible. More fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains and healthy meats and lots of fish. I am also going to use this journal to keep track of what I eat and the recipes I use.

So far this morning I have had a whole grapefruit, 1/4 cup of angel hair with peanut sauce, and 2 cups (from 1 tea bag) Mayan Cocoa Spice tea with Stevia. Yummy. Yesterday I weighed 134.4, let's see what eating healthy and working out can do to that.

Day Four (In Which Veronica Wears More Clothes)

I slept pretty well last night. I woke up at 5:43 after having a very weird dream about Madonna and I going out clubbing and trashing my grandparent's house when we got back. Apparently we were house sitting in my grandparent's old house in Sherborn. In the dream I was devastated that I had gone out drinking and that I had trashed the house. More that I had gone out drinking though. There was also some sort of strange creature in the basement that I thought was a monster, but it turned out to be friendly. Very strange.

After I woke up I tried to snuggle back to sleep but had to go to the bathroom. When I came back I tried to sleep more but S's alarm went off. So I downed my SWF and cuddled some more. Surprisingly I was awake when S left for work, but I conked right out after that. I didn't wake up until my 7:00 alarm went off, and that was after having gone to bed at 10:00. It was a good thing I got up when I did as the SWF wasn't waiting anymore. I got up and dealt with that, then did my dry brushing and took a lovely shower. After that, I slathered myself with coconut oil as I am wont to do and my skin feels LOVELY!! Now I just need to add my Neti Pot to my routines in the morning and before yoga and I will be fabulous!!

Speaking of Neti Pots, I need to address something here. I had a good sense of smell before I quit smoking. A really good sense of smell. It wasn't as disturbing as my father's but it was up there. I have been smoke free for 11 days now and my sense of smell has increased. Now add this cleanse in and I can smell for miles. Seriously. It's insane. Unfortunately there are some really bad smells in our apartment that I have to encounter and this morning was no different. Ugh. On the plus side I cannot wait to see how food tastes after all this is over!

I have a lot more clothes on today to try and stay warm. Well not a lot more, but hopefully enough. I have tights on under my pants and a camisole under my sweaters. It seems a bit better, but my hands are cold. And I miss food. I really really miss food. It's amazing how often I use it to break up the day. I am stunned how much I miss looking forward to it and smelling it and tasting it. I love that food is such a big part of my life, but I had stopped differentiating between good food and bad food. One of the reasons I am doing this cleanse is to get back to the good food. The healing healthy food. I don't want to be super strict with my diet, but I would like the food that I enjoy to be wholesome and minimally processed. And local when possible. I want to make everything I can from scratch so I know what's in it. Hmm, I miss cooking too.

Erg, 6 days left.

Day Three (In Which Veronica Posts When She Feels Like It)

Last night I slept pretty well except for around 4:30 when I woke up to go pee. I couldn't really fall back to sleep and so I have been a little tired this morning. The Smooth Tea made me cramp pretty badly, so I think that might have played a part in my having a hard time falling back to sleep. The SWF was consumed at 6:16 and I had to go at 6:40 so that's pretty quick. Very yellow BMs this morning, which according to discussion is from bile. I had some solid in the first one but the remaining were watery, which is to be expected.

Still super cold this morning. But I did manage to do the dry skin brushing before my shower. I turned on the shower and did the brushing in the bathroom because it was at least a bit warmer in there. The shower felt amazing this morning, so nice and warm. I walked really fast to work and got here slightly earlier than usual. I was warm when I got here for about 10 minutes and then got chilled again. I heated up a cup of water and just wrapped my hands around it for a bit which helped a lot. I am contemplating a brisk walk on my lunch break to try and get the blood flowing, but it is COLD out there.

meh

When I weighed myself this morning I was at 136.6 yay 1.6 lbs gone. LOL. It's probably water!

Day One (In Which Veronica is Tired)

WARNING: THERE WILL BE TALK OF A SENSITIVE NATURE IN THIS BLOG SO IF YOU SQUICK EASILY IN THE FACE OF HUMAN BODILY FUNCTIONS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!


Ok so I really didn't sleep much last night at all. I woke up at 3:30 and that was it. I was up. No real reason why. I wasn't anxious or anything, I was just awake. Tired, but awake. I realized that I needed to plan my Salt Water Flush (SWF) better. I realized that I should have made it the night before in a bottle and brought it into bed with me. I figured I should do it right then, so I got up at 3:30 went to the bathroom (which I think is what woke me up in the first place) and then made the SWF. I crawled back into bed and tried to sleep but that didn't really happen too much.

When S's alarm clock went off at 6:18 (third snooze attempt) I drank my SWF. I tried to doze off after he left for work and managed it a little too well. I finally dragged my carcass out of bed around 7:20. I started the shower and sat on the toilet hoping for an elimination. Had a little one, but not nearly what a SWF should produce. I wasn't that surprised however, as I am sure I am packed with nasty because I have been eating absolute CRAP (no pun intended) for the last couple months as my weight will attest to. I weighed myself this morning before the shower and, ack 138.2 lbs. I have put on nearly 15 pounds since christmas. I am not doing this cleanse to purely lose weight, although I will. I would be happy to be at 130, but we will see where we get to.

I took a shower and packed up my lemonade and walked to work. The work day went by fairly quickly and uneventfully. I drank my lemonade and water like a good girl. Had a few eliminations throughout the day. Tomorrow will bring the ones that go with the SWF I am sure. Who would have ever thought I would be looking forward to having watery BMs??? But that's how you know you are starting to detox!!

S walked part of the way up to meet me on my way home from work and we basically ran teh rest of the way back to the house because it was freezing out and very windy. We snuggled for a bit on the couch and then I had to get ready for M's first yoga lesson. She came over at 6:30 and we went for about an hour. I think she did amazingly well for her first time ever. I think she is going to become a regular student which is exciting, even if I am not certified yet and I am basically just helping out a friend. After yoga was over S came upstairs and we sat and had tea and M got to have some of my yummy homemade bread with Nutella. I had some mint tea which is the only other thing besides laxitive tea, SWF, and the lemonade that is allowed on this cleanse. It was very warming which I needed as i don't get as warm when I am teaching as I do when I am actually doing yoga.

So now M has just left, it's about 8:30 and I have just enough energy left to make up my lemonade for tomorrow, drink my Smooth Move tea, and collapse into bed with S to hopefully get some sleep tonight!!

Changes . . .For the Better

For years and years I have been trying to figure out how to be happy. How to be the person that I am and want to be. For years and years I have failed to do that. I would quit smoking and drinking and eating poorly only to start again. Mostly because I was quitting out of either spite for someone I was with, or to distance myself from them. I have never actually moved towards health for myself. I have never actually done it because I wanted to or because it was right for me. I did it just because I thought I was supposed to and alack and alas it never worked.

This time is different. It's different all around. For the first time I am actually doing all these things for myself. I quit smoking and drinking for myself. I have the most amazing supportive man in the universe by my side. I finally have a drive in life. I want to help others be healthy naturally. I want to teach yoga. I am going back to school to get my Diploma in Holistic Health and I am also going to get certified to teach yoga.

First off, however, I need to push the giant reset button on my body. After drinking and smoking for so long and eating crap for the last few months, I am full of nasty evil toxins. So to get rid off all that and give my body/mind/spirit a clean slate, I am going to do the Master Cleanse for at least the recommended 10 days. I am starting this tomorrow. Well technically it starts tonight.

So knowing full well that I would not be eating anything for at least the next 10 days, I decided that I would eat "last meals" today. S and I went to the diner and I had Irish Benedict - Poached eggs and hollandaise on top of corned beef hash and english muffins with a side of hash browns and 2 cups of coffee with sugar and cream. Ugh - I was Ms. Bloatus Fatimus. Luckily I only ate about 1.5 of the benedicts and just about a quarter of the potatoes.

We then went to visit S's grandmother in the rehab facility she is in after injuring her leg. She was doing well. Apparantly we were too close to a really fancy grocery store though and S couldn't resist going there to get some things. So I may have slipped a box of Cheddar Scallion Cheese Sticks into the cart to eat on the ride home. I might have also snuck in a couple of Vermont Maple Honey Caramel chocolates for us as well. S got fixens for a tasty 'last supper' of sorts for us. He isn't doing this cleanse with me, but he is going to a diet of non-processed foods heavy in fruits and veggies, which is what I will be doing after I break fast. We also got a bunch of lemons for my cleanse.

It occurs to me that I ought to take a second to explain what this cleanse is all about. It was developed by Stanley Burroughs about 50 years ago as a way to conquer disease and help people get back to health. It consists of drinking a laxative tea each night, drinking what's called a salt water flush (2 tsp. of sea salt in 32 oz. of H2O to be the same specific gravity as the blood) every morning, and drinking 6-12 servings of lemonade throughout the day. Each serving of lemonade is made up of 2 Tbs. fresh-squeezed lemon juice, 2Tbs. grade B maple syrup, 1/10 tsp. cayenne pepper, and 8 oz. of water. To learn more you can google Master Cleanse or go to http://www.therawfoodsite.com/.

Back to the bad food . . . so we polished off the entire box of cheese sticks! OMG - YUM. S decided to make stir fried ginger steak with smoked gouda mashed potatoes and steamed greens. There was so much yummy food. He used a little over half the block of smoked gouda for the potatoes and we devoured the remaining cheese while he cooked. And then we ate. It was soooooo good. But I felt disgustingly fat afterwards. This cleanse cannot come at a better time.

I spent some time making up my lemonade for tomorrow. I made up a whole batch for work to make my life easier. So that's done. Now to drink my Smooth Move tea, relax with S, and go to bed. More tomorrow!