Day Nine (Not Really)

So after much soul searching and debate yesterday I decided to break my fast and stop the cleanse. Too many negative emotions were being dragged up for me to deal with and I had been in a very very bad funk since Friday night. Nothing I tried helped to pull me up out of the funk. I also found out yesterday that the mortgage company where I am temping as a receptionist is moving me to on-call status as of Monday of next week. Basically they are letting me go because business is slower than they thought it would be. But if it gets busy they will call me. They have free lunches on Thursday. So perhaps the smallest reason I stopped this cleanse is because I want to take advantage of a last free lunch. Being let go was definitely the straw that broke the camels back for me concerning the cleanse though.

I don't feel bad about stopping short of the ten day mark, because I made it farther than I did last time and that in and of itself is an accomplishment. I also realized that I have a lot of emotional baggage that I need to work on. I have a lot of demons in my closet that I need to face and get rid of or accept and move on. Being let go will give me the time I need to accomplish that, as well as work on my goals. I will also have a good amount of time for school. I will be able to do my Yoga teacher training sooner rather than later so that I can start teaching sooner. I will also be able to do work study at The Arlington Center so I can take some classes there. I am not upset at being let go, but I was just getting used to the idea of getting paid again. I will definitely be doing cleanses/fasts more often. Most likely juice fasts with bentonite clay. I am going to make sure that I use my free time to best of my abilities. I want to be a good house-frau for S as well as being good to myself and following my dreams. I am very fortunate to have been given this opportunity to do what I actually want to do. I am not going to waste it!

Yesterday I drank the lemonade until I got home and then proceeded to have 4 pieces of celery with some of S's homemade peanut sauce and a piece of my homemade bread. It took me about an hour to eat them and they were so good. After that had started to digest I went to make soup. I surveyed our ingredients and decided that I would make Italian White Bean and Spinach soup mostly because we had spinach and a bunch of fresh basil. Here is a basic recipe. I don't really measure when I cook, so hopefully you can follow along.

Italian White Bean and Spinach Soup

3 Small onions chopped
3 Carrots sliced into disks
3-4 Cloves of garlic minced
4 Stalks of celery sliced
3 Medium - small potatoes diced
8 Cups of broth or water - your choice
1 Can of small white beans - again, your choice, make sure they are rinsed well
1/2 bunch spinach - trimmed
As much fresh basil as you want - minced
2 Scallions - chopped
A bit of dried oregano
Salt and pepper to taste
A bit of Chipoltle or other spicy pepper ( I like Chipoltle because it brings a smokiness to the soup without adding bacon or other pork products)

Saute the onions, carrots, and celery over med-high heat until they begin to sweat and soften. Add the garlic, oregano, and chipoltle and cook until fragrant. Add broth, beans and potatoes and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 20 -30 minutes. Add spinach, basil, and scallions and simmer until wilted. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve with Parmesan cheese to top, or if you are being healthy, you can use nutritional yeast which is what I do. I love it's cheesy flavour and it's vitamin B benefits. This soup is great with a nice sour dough bread for dipping in the tasty broth.

I had 2 very small bowls probably just enough to equal one whole bowl. It was such amazing soup. I also had about 4 Vinta crackers which are just about my favourite crackers on the whole planet besides Akmak. That is until I start making my own, which I plan to do starting this weekend. My goal is to make everything I can within reason. Crackers, pita bread, regular bread, granola, broth, chips . . . you name it, I want to figure out how to make it myself. It will be much healthier and cheaper. S and I want to get away from all processed food and try to eat as healthy as possible. More fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains and healthy meats and lots of fish. I am also going to use this journal to keep track of what I eat and the recipes I use.

So far this morning I have had a whole grapefruit, 1/4 cup of angel hair with peanut sauce, and 2 cups (from 1 tea bag) Mayan Cocoa Spice tea with Stevia. Yummy. Yesterday I weighed 134.4, let's see what eating healthy and working out can do to that.