Weekend Recap

I just couldn't motivate myself to post this weekend. I am not really sure why. I think I was too busy just being with S. There is also an awful lot going on in my head that I am trying to sort out. Who knew that making the decision to stop drinking/smoking and go sober would affect me so profoundly?? We went to S's parents' house for his step-sister's birthday dinner. It was nice although I ate entirely too much. Perhaps I didn't need that second cupcake. Oh well, I blame PMS and lack of sugar from alcohol for that. After the dinner we headed home by way of Trader Joe's. I am so in love with that store and have been since I went for the first time to the one in Framingham about 14 years ago. They were awesome then and they are awesome now. S and I got 3 bags full of groceries for around $50. The stuff is always top quality as well, which makes me very very happy.

When we finally got home we put everything away and cuddled on the couch for a bit. I was still pretty down in the head from earlier in the day. It's really hard to figure things out in my head now. I am not sure what's real and what's left over from the past. I'm also having a problem with the idea of going out as well. We were supposed to go to a party at a friend's house about an hour away on Saturday and when we went to bed Friday night I was still feeling so blah and blue, S asked me if I still wanted to go and I burst into tears. I really really didn't want to go and be surrounded by everyone getting hammered and smoking and all that, but I really didn't want S to miss out because he had really wanted to go. Ugh, I felt like such an asshole. I cried while S held me for awhile. I just don't know what I like and what's been programmed into me all these years. He is very understanding. After I cried I felt better. Especially after telling S that I just wasn't sure about so much that it made it very confusing as to what was real in my head and what wasn't. S and I talked for awhile and he said that he never wanted me to do anything that I didn't want to. I told him that we could play the party by ear.

Saturday we got up and had mango berry smoothies, coffee, and the rest of the Russian poppy seed cake, then proceeded to run errands. We went to BJ's in Natick and stocked up on paper goods and dried fruits and nuts and a bunch of other stuff. We also got a steam cleaner for the floors. We are hoping that it can conquer the kitchen floor which is ABSOFREAKINLUTELY disgusting. Grr. After BJ's we went to Joan and Ed's deli because S had never been there before. I got Matzhoh Ball soup and a Jewish pupu platter (Kishka, Knish, and Latke) and S got a very yummy Reuben. S tried to decide if we should try to finish the rest of the errands or just go home. Running the rest of the errands won out. We stopped and Super 88 and got some produce and other staples, the we stopped at Johnnie's Ghettomaster and got the last things we needed.

We got home and put everything away and S decided he was just too beat to go to the party, which was doubly fine with me as I had been wrestling with a stress headache all day from being upset Friday night. S and I went to Home Depot to see if he could get more wire for a project he is working on, then we went to pick up some good beer for beer bread and on the way home I was hit with bread inspiration!! We had picked up some Dubliner cheese at BJ's and some scallions at Super 88. Woot, cheddar scallion whole wheat beer bread made with Guinness. So so good and made the house smell delectable. That's actually what we ended up having for dinner, which was totally fine as we had kind of stuffed ourselves at Joan and Ed's. We cuddled on the couch for a while after that and then went to bed.

I woke up before S Sunday morning and crawled out of bed to start a loaf of yummy breakfast beer bread. Whole wheat oat with nutmeg, cinnamon, and raisins. It made the house smell awesome. I love beer breads, they mix up in no time, only take 45 minutes to bake, and there is no raising time. It's more like a batter, but the bread is amazing. LOL it's the only thing we buy alcohol for now! After I put the bread in I went back for more snuggles with S in bed. Finally we got up and had yerba mate Bengal spice tea and the fresh bread spread with cream cheese. Om nom nom!!!! Of course we had forgotten to get wheat germ for making granola in our travels, so we decided to enjoy the lovely weather and walk to Whole Foods to take advantage of their bulk department. It was an absolutely fabulous walk and even though Whole Foods was a mob scene we managed to get in and out pretty quickly with only what we had come for. AMAZING!

When we got home S started on some Chinese style Superior broth, which basically just used all the bones and veggie scraps we had in the freezer along with some tricks from his favourite Chinese cookbook. We both had some of the left over cheddar scallion bread with Russian cheese for a snack and, unfortunately, my right jaw muscle started to shoot searing pains from my jaw down my neck. I could only chew on the left side and only very very slowly. This used to happen all the time but had stopped for years. S thinks it's stress related because of all the changes. We then started laundry and then sat on the couch and I tried to relax. I was still hungry so I made some popcorn and succeeded in eating it by letting each kernel soften in my mouth on the left side before trying to eat it. Finally I succumbed and took some ibuprofen to see if that would help my jaw. It seemed to do the trick so at least I could eat a bit easier when it was time for dinner. I just threw all the leftovers from the chicken dinner we had last week into a pan with a bit of broth to heat up and we had it over brown rice. It was so so so good! I ate waaay too many sweets though, between Russian wafer cookies, Easter candy, caramel mousse and Nilla wafers. Ugh. At least we went for another walk after dinner. We were pretty beat from all the fresh air and walking, so we went to bed around 10. When we got up this morning it was snowing again. Grrr. Oh well at least we got to take advantage of the nice weather yesterday.